Sanjay Dadlani Exposed: May 2006

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Sanjay's Satanic Inclinations

Sanjay Kishore Dadlani:
Middlesex University Student Residing In The UK

After making my post about Sanjay And The Satanic Bible a debate ensued between Sanjay and I on the SSB2 Yahoo Group. Within minutes of publishing my post about Sanjay's admission to reading the Satanic Bible and his "seriously contemplating on and accepting the possibility of the darker forces in life", Sanjay's Satanic image (used as his profile pic on various sites) abruptly disappeared offline. After pointing this out, the picture re-appeared online as mysteriously as it disappeared. The picture used is as follows:

The images below shows how the photo was deleted. See before and after:

Sanjay denied that he used the Satanic image for his profile pic, claiming the image was of batman! However, here are screen caps that verfify that he used the Satanic photo as his profile pic as well as using it at Gaudiya-Repercussions.com under the name "Azra'il" (who is the Angel of Death):

Although Sanjay's profile picture depics a typical hell scene, situated in a pit of fire with a man wearing black, sitting on a stone throne surrounded with numerous human skulls, Sanjay claimed that this profile picture was not "Satanic" but was a "cartoon" of Lemmy Kilmister from the Hard Metal Rock Group, Motorhead. Let us look at the Heavy Metal Rock Group, Motorhead. First of all, some of Motorhead's albums come with parental warning labels on them because the lyrics are extremely graphic. Secondly, take a look at the main iconography and album covers associated with Motorhead:

I guess Sanjay will similarly argue that these images are "cartoons" and are not Satanic or evil in the least? This is the Heavy Metal Group that Sanjay eulogizes and promotes. Sinjay even devoted a blog exclusively for Motorhead named: Whore House Blues and entitled "Die You Bastard!".

Let us read some of Sanjay's deeply disturbing posts about his inclination to listen to Heavy Metal Music and how it helps him deal with deeply rooted psychological issues:

I hear the guitars and it feels like a blade of steel cutting through my soul and my flesh, and it's so plesurable. I wonder how thos people feel, those people who take a razor blade to themselves and cut their flesh. I wonder how it feels. I think I want to try that, if only as a release to this intense pain that I feel.

It is no wonder that, to appease my tortured soul, I listen to metal. Not just any metal, mind you, Motorhead and a little Metallica is the stuff that oils my wheels these days. Regarding my taking a turn for all of this negativity, what else is there?

Metal seems to have the special quality of slicing through your flesh and gliding straight into a pain-wracked soul. As such, I do not NEED to cut myself. I just need to listen to some good metal, as the guitars do all the cutting for me that I need. And so I can just open my heart to the steel sword that begs to cut through my flesh and intertwine itself with my nerves, and like a violin let it play the most mournful music anyone has ever heard. While raining hellfire spills forth from my eyes...

Therefore, direct from Sanjay's mouth, we read how he was so seriously disturbed that he considered cutting himself with razors to release his inner pain. Sanjay said that Heavy Metal music does the cutting that he does not have the nerve to do himself. The iconography associated with Motorhead is clearly and unequivocally Satanic, evil, hellish or demonic (take your choice). Sanjay refuses to accept these descriptions and chooses to describe his Lemmy picture as a "cartoon", in the category of Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck and the Care Bears!

Sanjay denies that he has Satanic inclinations. Nevertheless, I think the evidence speaks to the contrary. Why does Sanjay, who claims to be a Gaudiya Vaishnava, use a picture depicting hell and Satan as his main profile pic and eulogize and promote a Heavy Metal Group (even devoting a blog to them) when their iconography is clearly Satanic? Does this sound like the behavior of someone who denies having Satanic inclinations and instead has loving devotion to Bhagavan Sri Krishna? I think the answer is self-evident.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Sanjay's Purchase Of Drugs And Racist Comments

Sanjay Kishore Dadlani:
Middlesex University Student Residing In The UK

A shocking post by Sanjay on his former killuminati blog. This post says it all (vowles to profane words have been replaced with asterisks by me):

This young black motherf*cker was there selling weed on the street without a care in the world. I had no idea what he was doing as I ignored his calls to me, but as I was heading back the same way I noticed that he was obviously selling something to this guy. Sh*t, he had a whole brick of weed and was pulling bits off and selling it. I got caught up in the moment and asked him for £10 worth. He looked at me with dismay and suggested that I should part with at least £20. I lied and told him that 10 was all I had. So he pulled off a bit and gave it to me, which I promptly put in my pocket. Of course I knew that I was carrying 2 20's in my wallet and so I pulled one out. I was half-scared that he might not have any change but he did, and so I went on my way. As soon as this went down, I suddenly realised the implications of what I had done; all of this was in full public view! This guy sitting at a table drinking coffee saw the whole thing, what if there were f*cking cops around? Sh*t! But funnily enough, I kind of got off on the adrenalin of it all.

On Sanjay's former StreetBitches blog, he named one of the posts "Annie getcha gun" (Reference). The reason why Sanjay named this post that way was simply because a white woman was talking to a black man. This shows how Sanjay truly regards black people. He has the audacity to call another human being a "black motherf*cker" and name one of his posts in a racist way because he obviously feels that black people are a threat to white women. If anyone is a threat to women, it's Sanjay (as has been shown in the exposure of his StreetBitches blog).

No one regrets that Sanjay left the Pro-Sai Camp and set up tent among Anti-Sai Activists. They can have him (as he fits in particularly well with their group of liars, exaggerators and deceivers).

Monday, May 29, 2006

Sanjay And The Satanic Bible

Sanjay Kishore Dadlani:
Middlesex University Student Residing In The UK

Sanjay talked about 'The Satanic Bible' by Anton Szandor LaVey on his former killuminati blog:

It is no wonder that I have started to feel full of rage, hate and anger. It is no wonder that I have started to seriously contemplate on and accept the possibility of the darker forces in life. It is no wonder that I have started to set my sights on the lower and fringe sections of society. It is no wonder that I read 'The Satanic Bible' by Anton Szandor LaVey. It is no wonder that I have started to lose my motivation and risk the future of several important life-projects that I am currently undertaking. It is no wonder that, to appease my tortured soul, I listen to metal. Not just any metal, mind you, Motorhead and a little Metallica is the stuff that oils my wheels these days. Regarding my taking a turn for all of this negativity, what else is there?...

Nothing like a dabbling and potential Satanist "seriously contemplating on and accepting the possibility of the darker forces in life" to defame Sathya Sai Baba. Although those opposing Sathya Sai Baba are fully aware of these very disturbing posts from Sanjay, they continue to support, cheer and promote his blogs on their sites!

As I said many times before, Anti-Sai Activists are a mob of angry, bitter and vindictive people who actively seek out (and thrive on) negative forces to wage their smear campaigns with. Obviously, they hit the jack-pot with Sanjay Dadlani.

Bitter And Poison

Sanjay Kishore Dadlani:
Middlesex University Student Residing In The UK
Very Bitter

Some very bitter posts by Sanjay on his former killuminati blog:

It's almost like my entire soul seems to be filled with poison. I don't know how else to describe it. I either feel just very vacant or empty, and at other times I just feel consumed by bitterness, anger and hatred. Consumed by poison...

It's like when I close my eyes, I can actually feel the loneliness surrounding me, choking and suffocating me. Or at least my senses seem to sink within myself and become dull. A pessimistic attitude tints my vision and I cannot seem to understand other people's emotions except mine. Yes, I may laugh at comedies but usually only at the sarcastic jokes, which seem to be an extension of the frustration and bitterness in my soul. It's like I am just aimless these days, going along no particular direction...

It is something that I had perhaps get used to. It's probably likely that I will end up a bitter twisted old man and I should look forward to that and embrace it. It's looking unreasonable to expect anything else...

It is thus no wonder that I am wallowing in disillusion these days. It is no wonder that I have accepted the possibility that I will transform into a sad, lonely, bitter twisted old man...

No one hears the bitter sobs as I cry for a saviour to liberate my soul from this gutter. The chains of iniquity lie around my neck and my hands are tied together with the rope of regret while the children outside laugh and play in joyful glee. I close my eyes and feel the waves of misery crash on the rocks of my heart and sway my body to the rhythm of the vulture's call...

Some days I feel really angry, vengeful and hateful. I gotta admit that I am becoming the same bitter and twisted person that I was when I met her. So what? Maybe that's my destiny. I have turned to this line of anger and hatefulness relatively recently...

Fuck's sake, I'm seriously gonna turn into a bitter twisted old man for the rest of my life...

Nothing like a "twisted", "pessimistic" and "bitter" person (caught in the "gutter" of "rage", "hate" and "anger") to defend Anti-Sai Activist's twisted, pessimistic and bitter crusades against Sathya Sai Baba (which are similary caught in the gutters of rage, hate and anger).

Yes, it's all "poison". At least the truth is out :-)

A Seminal Discussion On Ojas, Urdhvaretas And Kishore Dadlani

Sanjay Kishore Dadlani:
Middlesex University Student Residing In The UK

On Gaudiya-Repercussion.com (under the name "Azra'iL" - Angel of Death) Sanjay claimed:

"The term 'urdhvaretas' refers to a person who preserves ojas and instead of being dissipated through the penis, it is sucked upwards via the spine and spread out all over the brain, which will enable the practitioner to acquire all of those benefits mentioned above."

On the SathyaSaiBaba2 yahoo Group, Sanjay cited 6 sources to defend his comments on "urdhvaretas" and how semen is "drawn up" from the testicles, via the spine, to the brain (no kidding): Reference.

Sanjay also made some very amusing comments on the former Istagosthi.org website about this very topic. These posts prove that Sanjay is a habitual and chronic liar who went as far as to claim that he met and studied under Aghori Vimalananda in 1998 (Reference). The only problem with this claim is that Aghori Vimalananda died in 1983 when Sanjay was 5 years old! Click Here for a full exposé on Sanjay's "Vimalananda Lie". Kishore Dadlani said:

"I am actually interested in conserving my semen, and especially my store of ojas. The benefit of my past training in various Tantrika schools and other philosophies (including Kundalini Yoga) has taught me that the conservation of semen is a most important thing. It is actually an art. If you conserve your semen PROPERLY, you can live to be thousands of years old. That is, if you want to. Personally I don't want the hassle, I have better things to work for. Sheesh, now I'm starting to sound like Vimalananda.."

"Physical brahmacharya may be good, however, mental brahmacharya is the key. Even thinking of sex with women will cause the penis to drip something that is known in lay terms as 'pre-cum'. This pre-cum is actually the revered ojas that is in fact a liquid form of your own life-force."

"The real key to sadhana is to not think of women at all, let alone sex. This makes me wonder about the incident between Lord Caitanya and Junior Haridas. What exactly did Junior Haridas do? Look at a woman? Obviously this is a very deep topic, but it is plainly obvious that celibacy brings very great benefits if you know all the tricks of the trades. Otherwise what is the point of performing so many austerities without knowing how to get the benefit."

First of all, Sanjay's "mental brahmacharya" is so well maintained, he ended up creating a StreetBitches Blog to vent his sexual frustrations! What was that again about "the real key to sadhana is to not think of women at all, let alone sex"? lol Yes, celibacy brought "great benefits" to Sanjay. It turned him into a uncontrollable and raging boot fetishist, Jesus fetishist, porn pervert, defender of teen porn and a stalker of innocent teenagers, women, mothers and students! Sanjay even referred to the mothers he exploited on his StreetBitches Blog as "MILF's" (an acronym for "Mothers I'd Like to F*ck"). Enough said.

Secondly, there is no proof that semen can travel from the testicles to the brain via the spinal cord. "Pre-cum" (as Sanjay referred to it) is actually pre-ejaculatory fluid. It is always secreted before an ejaculation and comes exclusively from the bulbourethral glands (Cowper's glands). The anatomy of these glands is well known and well documented and there are no vestibules, ducts or tubes that connect the testicles or the bulbourethral glands with the spinal cord, the brain or anything other than the reproductive system. Therefore, there is no empirical or objective data to support the erroneous claim that the practice of urdhvaretas "draws up" semen from the testicles to the brain. Anyone who believes this, will believe anything. Of course, Sanjay is a Hare Krsna wannabee who pubicly defends scriptures that say we live in a geocentric universe and that the Sun is closer to the Earth than the Moon! So it really shouldn't come as a shock that Sanjay believes that semen can be sucked up from the testicles to the brain. lol

Based on Sanjay's past (and very predictable) behavior, there is little doubt that he will neurotically start claiming I have a "semen fetish" and will start obsessing about it (like he does about feces, piss and homosexuality) and will begin posting it everywhere he can. Updates will be forthcoming.

Oh, and by the way, Sanjay also claimed that he met "sadhus in India who lived to be over 300 years old". *rolls eyes*

As I said many times before, Sanjay is the laughing stock of the Anti-Sai movement.

Sanjay's Views On Teen Porn & Child Pornography

Sanjay Kishore Dadlani:
Middlesex University Student Residing In The UK

Click Here view Sanjay's comments about teen porn in which he said:

"We need to establish if this was actually child porn, or porn that is advertised as belonging to the 'teen' category. Teen porn is relatively legal and there is no problem with it. Child porn is illegal, yes."

Of course, this is a blatant lie. Teen porn, under no cirucumstance is "relatively legal". Any porn of people under the age of 18 is illegal! Funny that Sanjay Dadlani would take the position that teen porn is "relatively legal", implying that teenage consent is legitimate and legal, yet at the same time, say that SSB's alleged sexual acts with boys in their late teens is 100% illegal and the argument of consent is irrelevant!

Sanjay tried to defend Reinier Van Der Sandt when he admitted he saw "kiddie porn", found "lots of kiddie porno sites", tried to enlarge thumbnail pictures of children being sexually abused, said he "wanted to continue and see more" and complained that he could not see these pornographic sites easily because of all the pop-ups! Sanjay clearly implied that it is okay if it was "teen-porn", but not okay if it was kiddie porn!

Click Here to view Sanjay's comments about child pornography in which he said:

"Because even if it is true that I saw child porn, so what? It's just a picture?"

This is a seriously disturbing comment. I guess a picture of a child being sexually abused negates the criminal act of sexual abuse that resulted in that picture being made in the first place? Shame on Dadlani!

Sanjay's enjoyment of teen porn is futher strengthened by posts and links made on his former StreetBitches blog. On this blog, Sanjay linked to illegal teen-porn sites and stalked a "teen" (his word) and secretly took pictures up her dress (from underneath a table) in the computer lab at the University he goes to. He posted no less than 20 pictures of this teen (out of over 300 pictures of other teenagers, women, mothers and students)!

Sanjay also claimed that he was a "porn investigator" (no kidding) and that he worked for the IWF in 2001. Sanjay made these claims when he was caught, with his pants down, making kinky and deviant requests for Jesus Pornography and was suspected of looking at child porno. Sanjay fully conceded that he did, in fact, receive "illegal porno pics". Since Sanjay stated that he felt teen porno was "relatively legal" and child porn was definitely "illegal", then Sanjay de facto admitted to receiving child pornography! Sanjay said:

"When I did a little work experience for the IWF in 2001, I used many different emails and IDs, and carried out my research into many newsgroups. I did in fact receive illegal porn pics from some newsgroups which I duly reported to my seniors, which eventually led to the shutdown of those illegal newsgroups as per IWF policy. I didn't receive any pics from alt.sex jesus and alt.sex.biblical, frankly because well, I didn't receive any pics there. This is why the NG was judged as relatively "harmless" and was not shut down as per IWF policy. Any more questions, retardio?"

Of course, this is another blatant and pathological lie! Lisa DeWitt emailed the IWF about Sanjay's claim that he worked for them and they vehemently denied it! The IWF said:

"Dear Lisa, The IWF have never employed anyone by the name Sanjay Dadlani. IWF staff carry out proactive work as well as reacting to reports from the public. However this work is only carried out by trained staff on IWF premises. We would never employ or ask anyone to look for illegal content from their private computers, as this is against the law. Please see (Link) for more information regarding the law and our work. Regards, FG Hotline Manager Internet Watch Foundation www.iwf.org.uk"!

This is the type of deviant & sexually-focused person that Anti-Sai Activists need (and utilize) to defend their corrupt smear campaigns against Sathya Sai Baba. So much for Anti-Sai Activist's so-called "moral", "righteous" and "ethical" stand against immorality!

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Sanjay's Homoeroticism And Gender Confusion

Sanjay Kishore Dadlani:
Middlesex University Student Residing In The UK

Sanjay's homoerotic feelings for another man and his intense pleasure in running his fingers through another man's hair:

Killuminati Blog: Saturday, October 15, 2005: "Progress?":

I really love Kiedis, perhaps even in a homoerotic way, but the man has to compare his sh*t with the standard we all got and prioritise.

Killuminati Blog: Friday, October 07, 2005: "Cold Death":

I think of Haresh, how he used to lay his head down in my lap and I'd stroke his hair. I did that spontaneously, because I know what my blood likes. I know I like it, and I know he likes it too. So when he lays his head down in my lap, I spontaneously stroke his hair.

These posts, from Sanjay, inspired PremaPerm to make the following picture:

Sanjay also posted his profile on a site where he was obviously very confused about his gender. He referred to himself as being a "female"....twice!

This is not to deride Sanjay's sexual orientation. I just think it is strange that Sanjay loves to bash others (including Sai Baba) as "fags" and "homosexuals" yet makes unusual comments about his sexual tastes (which, as all know, are diverse and even venture into Jesus Pornography and extreme Boot Fetishes).

Psychologically Unstable Hip Hop Boy

Sanjay Kishore Dadlani:
Middlesex University Student Residing In The UK

Here are some actual pictures of Sanjay in his Hip Hop costume (all he needs is a red clown nose to make the look complete):

Here are some Hip-Hop related quotes taken directly from Sanjay's former killuminati blog:

I hear the guitars and it feels like a blade of steel cutting through my soul and my flesh, and it's so plesurable. I wonder how thos people feel, those people who take a razor blade to themselves and cut their flesh. I wonder how it feels. I think I want to try that, if only as a release to this intense pain that I feel.

How quaintly romantic it would be to purchase a gun and put it into your mouth. Tasting the metal as you run your tongue around the barrel, close your eyes, and blow your brains out. Next stop? That journey is too frightening to contemplate. I should stick to the whisky. I need to get some more bottles of whisky and vodka. I don't have any in the house and I'm climbing up the walls. Waves of misery and grief wash over me as I contemplate the black starry night, the screeching of the owls enter my ears and fills my throbbing heart with pulsating fear. I no longer know myself, as I have swept away by the winds of change, and I know not where I will land.

Overwhelming despair welling up deep in my heart. No recourse to turn to, no one to hold. Tears of sadness flow from my eyes as I weep in the darkness for release. No one hears the bitter sobs as I cry for a saviour to liberate my soul from this gutter. The chains of iniquity lie around my neck and my hands are tied together with the rope of regret while the children outside laugh and play in joyful glee. I close my eyes and feel the waves of misery crash on the rocks of my heart and sway my body to the rhythm of the vulture's call.

Metal seems to have the special quality of slicing through your flesh and gliding straight into a pain-wracked soul. As such, I do not NEED to cut myself. I just need to listen to some good metal, as the guitars do all the cutting for me that I need. And so I can just open my heart to the steel sword that begs to cut through my flesh and intertwine itself with my nerves, and like a violin let it play the most mournful music anyone has ever heard. While raining hellfire spills forth from my eyes...

Sanjay is the type of psychologically unstable clown that Anti-Sai Activists need to defend their lies, deceit and dishonesty against Sathya Sai Baba. Disgusting (and really quite pathetic)!

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Sanjay & Gomorrah: Dadlani's Jesus Sex Fetish

Sanjay Kishore Dadlani:
Middlesex University Student Residing In The UK

Sanjay Dadlani, aka "saibabaexposed420", is a shady character with some very deviant sex fetishes. Besides his kinky Boot Sex Fetish, Dadlani also has a Jesus Sex Fetish. No kidding!

Sanjay was caught, with his pants down, requesting "Naughty Jesus" porn pics on Google's Adult alt.sex.jesus Group (Reference)

Click Here to view the Google Group results for Dadlani's name "X Zecutioner" (look for: "alt.sex.jesus", "alt.sex.biblical" and "alt.sex.disney" on Page Two).

Click Here to view the Google Groups results for Dadlani's email "dark_knight_9@yahoo.com" (look for: "alt.sex.jesus", "alt.sex.biblical" and "alt.sex.disney" on Page Two). One does not need to be 18 years of age or older to view these results. However, if one chooses to see Dadlani's actual posts, one must confirm that they are at least 18 years of age. This section contains adult content.

Funny enough, Sanjay fully conceded that he did, in fact, request Jesus, Biblical and Disney pornographic images in 2001: Reference.

Sanjay became so psychotically immersed in his Jesus Sex Fetish that he even grew out his hair and imagined himself to look like Jesus Christ (although I have yet to see any artistic rendition of a pudgy Jesus with owl-rimmed glasses and hearing aids)!

As if this could not get any worse, Sanjay claimed that his "Jesus Look" was bringing him more sex with women and he thanked Jesus for it! Sanjay said on his former Killuminati Blog, under the post "TRAINS JESUS SEX RANT: May 25th 2004" (vowels to profane words have been replaced with asterisks by me):

Therefore I look a bit like Jesus Christ I suppose. Some girls on IRC have shown some serious interest in this description. No fear, photos are coming. I gotta admit, looking like Jesus has had its good points especially since the release of "Passion of the Christ." It seems to me that there is a general awareness in the public relating to Jesus' sacrifice. Other than that, it occurred to me the other day that look of Jesus Christ - long hair and beard - has a primeval look about it. Jesus-fashion has always been 'in' amongst New-Age hippies and fringies also I suppose. I know, since I saw enough of them in India. The long hair and beard seems to go well with my eyes, in my opinion. I always thought that I had pretty intense eyes. Anyway, so it seems to go well with my eyes, this Jesus look. It has also helped when I am in a rough area. Previously I have gotten looks as if I am easy to mug or something. This hasn't been the case since I got into the Jesus look. It seems that I have a 'don't mess with me' look, which can be pretty cool in an awkward situation but it has the disadvantage of making me look too tough and unapproachable or something. Does it attract the girls, is what I wanna know? Some girls just don't like beards, which is fine since I don't happen to think they are that pretty too, haha. But yeah, I gotta admit, I've found that I've been getting a few more looks since I got this Jesus-face. Who knows why, it can't be all that bad.

The girl I took out the other night seemed to get off on it too. In fact she told me that she seriously got off on the fact that I look like Jesus. Maybe that's why she was so wild in bed. Although I had never slept with her before, I got the distinct impression that she was somehow 'extra wild' that night. That was certainly a primeval night anyways. Ahhh, I'm still catching my breath from it.

Boots are great, they confer automatic sexiness on whoever wears them. A girl who wears boots has got Goddess Status. Just try it out and see girls, put on a pair of boots and see how many guys have their tongues hanging out licking the dirty pavement behind you, all willing to be your slave. But eh, its one of my fetishes so sue me. Strappy shoes are cool too but they are so last year. It was fun when just a few women were wearing them but it got a bit boring when everybody and anybody had strappy shoes. Otherwise seriously, some girls I totally RUINED them when they wore strappies in bed. God, they look so amazing and so horny. I'm not into feet, I'm into the shoes. The way the designer made these shoes so that they swirl perfectly around a girl's ankles is just PURE ECSTASY. Sometimes you come across a picture of a porn star (like Sylvia Saint, cough cough) or some other woman wearing these high-heels with straps that swirl themselves all the way up the girl's calves: Paradise. Last summer I was seriously into strappy shoes - I would have been anybody's slave if they wore strappy shoes - until the summer ended and everyone started wearing knee-high boots instead, ostensibly to cover up their legs.

My earliest fantasies used to revolve around licking p*ssy - I was seriously into that then, too - and I know for a fact that I ain't THAT much into it now. Yes, you heard. My idea of having sex in those days was simply to go down on a girl and make her scream. Lucky girls eh. These days, muff-diving well, I'll do it but I ain't keen on it. Sorry.

Sanjay said on his former Killuminati Blog, under the post "ROCK PICK UP: May 28th 2004":

What can I say? Rock chicks, umm.. ROCK! It's gotta be the Jesus look, I swear. Too many ladies have been passing me stares ever since the Jesus thing started. Jesus, I love you so much man. You know I been a bad boy at times, but you ROCK! Your look is massive, I love it!

This is the guy who is the current mouthpiece and spokesperson for the Anti-Sai Movement! That's right, Sanjay (who goes around bashing Sathya Sai Baba) is a confirmed Jesus Sex Fetishist who was caught requesting "Naughty Jesus" porn pics and even tried to look like Jesus so he could get more sex with women!

And to think that Anti-Sai Activists continue to promote, cheer and support Sanjay Kishore Dadlani. Apparently, Anti-Sai Activists see nothing wrong with this behavior. Nothing like a pervert with a potty mouth to defend the Anti-Sai Movement.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Kishore Dadlani - Vicious Slanderer Extraordinaire

Sanjay Kishore Dadlani:
Middlesex University Student Residing In The UK

Kishore Dadlani has a very long and very troubled history of chronic and habitual lying, slander and defamation: Reference.

Dadlani accused me of the following:

"I wonder how much Pro-Sai defenders/devotees/admirers make a year. :-) Joè Morèno is unemployed and leeching off the state, we know that, but how much is the Sai Org paying you to do such a crappy job of defending an indefensible homosexual paedophile?" (Reference)

"Gerald himself is not squeaky-clean either. He has recently been exposed as a sexual pervert, a possible alcoholic and has a continuing affiliation with ex-porn stars/Playboy playmates who make "shit and piss" porn movies. That too, on top of his extremely worrying fascination for faecal material." (Reference).

I'm still waiting for ANY factual documentation, information, data, testimonies, witnesses or anything else that factually supports Dadlani's erroneous and low-class slander that:

I am "unemployed".

I am "leeching off the State".

The Sai Org. is paying me money or that I have ANY ties or connections with the Sai Org.

The evidence that Sathya Sai Baba is a "homosexual paedophile".

The evidence that I am a "sexual pervert".

That I am affiliated with "ex-porn stars/Playmates who make 'shit and piss' porn movies".

That I am fascinated with "faecal material".

It appears that Sanjay is desperately trying to associate and link me to Rasa Von Werder, with whom I have never communicated (it appears Sanjay is accusing this woman of being an "ex-porn star/playmate", etc). Rasa Von Werder simply posted a link to my article about Jody Radzik (the Guruphiliac Blog webmaster with whom she has been debating for some time). For Sanjay's information, I cannot control the internet or who chooses to link to my site. One would think that Sanjay, whom allegedly has a degree in IT, would know this remedial fact. Apparently, Sanjay does not know.

It is also clear that Sanjay (with the true gutter mind that he has) accused me of having a "faecal" fascination and fetish because I simply used the word "poo" about 13 times in my article about Jody Radzik. Of course, when Jody repeatedly referenced "faecal material" on his site, Sanjay thinks nothing of it. Apparently, Sanjay is a "faecal" fetish expert who can diagnose those afflicted with the fetish.

So where is the proof, evidence, documentation and information that supports ANY of these defamatory claims made against me? I've been waiting a long time for a response. But then again, Sanjay never retracted (since 2001) his comments about Tony O'Clery being banned from the Vancouver Sai Center for sexual molestation and that Tony O'Clery had sex with Sanjay's informant and David Bailey (Reference). The truth is alien to Sanjay. Untruths, however, are the basic building blocks to his mental constitution. Sad.

Such are the "exposers" of Sathya Sai Baba.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Sanjay: Multiple Personalities?

Sanjay Kishore Dadlani:
Middlesex University Student Residing In The UK

On Dinakaran's Blog, Sanjay Dadlani said the following:

For example, I invite you to view a blog that Moreno has created very recently: http://dadlaninanda.blogspot.com/ At the very least, it is obvious that his valiant efforts in defending Sai Baba simply consist of attacking me and tarnishing my reputation in a most slanderous and disgusting manner. Not to mention the fact that he has stolen an image of myself from my website and regularly presents ridiculous composite images such as the one you see. Such childish behaviour hardly deserves any comment.

The picture in question is as follows:

Within a few weeks of making the comment above, Sanjay (like a person suffering from multiple personalities) took the image I created about him (yes, the one he said was "ridiculous" and was tarnishing his wholesome and pristine reputation) and posted it on HIS OWN blog, apparently, liking the image SO much, he even changed his name to "SaiExposedAnanda" to suit the new image! See for yourself:

One moment, my dadlaninanda blog is "slanderous and disgusting" and I am stealing his picture and making a childish and ridiculous composite from it and in the next moment, Sanjay thinks the image is funny, amusing and he steals my image of him and uses it on his own blog (apparently fantasizing about being a guru). Weird. Very weird.

SaiBabaExposed Blog Failing Fast

Sanjay Kishore Dadlani:
Middlesex University Student Residing In The UK

On May 2nd 2006, Sanjay went all orgasmic about his SaiBabaExposed blog reaching the number one spot on IndianBloggers.com (Reference). What Sanjay forgot to tell everyone is that there are a grand-total of only 21 registered sites under the religion section. A mere 8 days later, his blog fell to fourth place with the LOWEST rating given to any blog listed there (2 blocks out of five)!

Furthermore, for some mysterious reason, Sanjay keeps his site-stats hidden on his blog so no one can access them. It is entirely possible that Sanjay is generating fake hits for his own site and is hiding his site-stats so no one can catch him in the act. "Time to break out the champagne"? Not yet Sanjay. Cork it!

Update: May 11th 2006: Within a few hours after publishing this post, someone (I wonder who) bombarbed the Konkani Catholics Blog and Indian Muslims Blog with low ratings, attempting to make it seem like Sanjay's blog is not the only one with a low rating. It certainly seems that the ever-so-vindictive Dadlani purposely rated the others blogs low so he would not be alone in his poor ratings. Despicable!

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Studmuffin Sanjay

Sanjay Kishore Dadlani:
Middlesex University Student Residing In The UK

DIRECT FROM SANJAY'S FORMER KILLUMINATI BLOG: DUPLICATED VERBATIM:
Let us read one of Sanjay's introductory comments about his studmuffininess:

It is absolutely imperative that female visitors to this site fall in love with me - and fall in love with me, they will - and get it on. First I will have to woo them with my fun-loving and energetic personality. When I succeed in making them think what a great guy I am and how fantastic it would be to get with me ("I MUST have that boy!"), then I will have considered my mission a success. What a complete studmuffin I am. Who can resist me?

Now, let us read some of Sanjay's obsessive, neurotic, hateful, whiny and weird babblings about his former girlfriends and his inability to maintain a relationship:

The more she leaves it, the more angry and tense I'm getting. She said she's going on some sorta vacation to find herself and be back at the end of September. Now it's October and I haven't even heard shit. They all fucking try this shit with me. As if I'sm some kinda lame dog or something that'll let it go. Ooh, hell no! I am NOT gonna be letting this shit go, especially from fucking nervous cowards who ain't even got the guts to come and face me.

Whatever, the point being that every time - EVERY TIME - I have given this gift to someone who I genuinely felt would be a suitable and reciprocatory receptacle for such love, they have either proved themselves unworthy of it in different ways, or just spit on it and leave.

I basically do think that Anna's behaviour is extremely cowardly. Today I was watchig some soap and the topic of patching mariages up came up. I then remembered 'Patch It Up' by Elvis and I got to thinking how Anna hasn't even given me a chance to patch it up with her. That just ain't fair at all. It's cowardly because the way she's hiding from me and avoiding me is just plain annoying and childish, not to mention demeaning and highly disrespectful. Almost like she has a heart of stone or something. So that hurts quite a bit. And while she's doing that, she ain't giving me a chance to talk to her or even attempt to patch things up, while I know she's going around telling everyone it's finished, but not quite telling them why. Rather sneaky, I think.

She thinks she's the only one who did some "evaluation" when I was in Sri Lanka. Well here's some hot news: I did some major evaluation too; I had plenty of time to think about where the relationship was going, what I could do to improve it, and whatever. I had some great ideas, about how I could improve things, and improve myself you know. And she just turned all of that to shit. Basically, she'll never know how good it could have been. She'll never know how great it might ave turned out, because she chickened out basically.

I gotta think though, were we moving too fast? Is it that she sort of got a little scared at how fast things were moving? I mean, we chatted for a year and according to her she was always coming to England, that was always on the agenda. So I suppose as the time for that drew nearer, she got scared? Why would she get scared anyway? I figured she had done enough preparation anyway? She was only supposed to be coming in September for a vacation anyway, so what was the problem? Even if she did get scared, so what? We could have slowed down a bit. I was in no real rush. Of course I was in a "sort of" rush since I love her and coudn't wait to see her and be with her, but if she was feeling a little pressured then we could have held back a bit for a while. I'm not an overbearing kinda guy, am I? There was no need to bloody break up though. It's all just SO silly. And even sillier is the way she just keeps humiliating me and making me suffer, seemingly without a care in the world. It's just cruel. what have I done to deserve this? What have I done to deserve feeling this way? It's so unfair.

Fucking women, I decided today that I think all "hot" women fucking can go fuck themselves. Fucking snotty bitches, fucking little teasers, they can go die. Little bitches, brought up as sluts. fucking shitty females, my ass. They can go die.

I think the main problem is that whenever this happened before, I at least had a friend like Miss G. who I could talk it through with and who had a sympathetic ear for me. So at least I got it out of myself. This time around I have FUCKING NO ONE. It ain't a very good idea to pick up girls by being depressed ya know. That does NOT turn on the ladies. How fucking depressing can it be for a girl to chat up some guy who hasn't got a grip? There's Redhead, Nightz, Myla, Kat, Naz, and a whole load of others plus that sexy-looking Paki who gave me a deep look this morning.

I was thinking that I might have got the chance to take Anna there. It's beautiful in some places and she would really like the hotels and the sandy beaches, but hey, life's a bitch and nothing ever goes the way you plan. A lot of shit went down in Sri Lanka. I played it down for Anna's sake because I didn't want to worry her and other people. When I got back to the UK, I REALLY needed to be in her arms and getit out of me, just to talk about what went on over there. I really needed someone to stand by me and support me and all the tension I went through. Until i read that fucking demonic Dear John letter. I suddenly realised that I'd have to go through all of that all alone and by myself. Hmmm, I'm not really even sure that I HAVE got over it.

Did she do that? NO. I guess that's the proof that shows how much she really "loved" me. I was right, it was a load of bullshit she was spoon-feeding me all along. And Anna's friends can't even seem to get their heads around this fact. Fucking women, they're all on the same side. No wonder they think differently, they're a totally different species! `They reckon all guys are bad and so they must all get in a closed-off group and protect each other. Fucking bollocks. Of course it's ALWAYS the guy's fault, even when they guy hasn't done anything at all except give away their soul. Well fuck that. I could have died in those blasts, and she didn't even fucking care. And that hurts me deep. That really stung, when I realised that. It really stung. And i can't even talk to anyone about how I feel, because nobody cares. Nobody at all.

What can I say or do? I have tried everything. She just won't talk to me. Maybe she hates me, who knows? I think she does. Why else would she treat me like this? How much longer will I have to feel like this? And she doesn't even care. She's probably immersed in her own problems and fucking insecurities, stupid insecurities which never meant shit to me and which she always made a big issue about. IT DIDN'T MATTER- NONE OF IT EVER MATTERED TO ME, but she just didn't get it. It's her loss, basically. Now she has to find someone else to make her feel good about what she did to me. And then she'll probably come back again in six months or so flaunting her new guy and like, "Hey you, look who I've met and he's tons better than you!" Fuck that lame shit. Not only is that lame but I'd kill the both of them. Going around for a laugh. I bet she's online as well and has just blocked me from her msn, how lame is that? Childish. And then she gives me all that crap, "despite what happens I still really miss our chats", which is why she NEVER comes online in almost two months now. Well, fuck that. And Arryana can go fuck herself as well, stupid bitch.

I'm pissed off about a lot of things lately. Maria's not around, Shalene ain't writing back, Laura ain't around and Eline's off on her holiday, so I'm feeling a bit lonely without any company. Well fuck that, actually I am lonely, period. But anyway it got to me today , the sheer desperation of it all.

But some of his lyrics were good, and some songs reminded me of Anna too. Actually I was so surprised by how much those songs reminded me of her. Here's a sample lyric: "How can you say to me that I've lost my way, when you're walking away, and I'm willing to give it my aaaall..." Thre were a few other songs that reminded me of Anna, things that I really want to say to her. I considered emailing her these mp3 tracks in zipped files along wih the lyrics, but I'm not sure she would appreciate them. She deltes all my emails probably. She doesn't reply to anything I say despite agreeing that we needed to talk, so why would she listen to any music I send her?

Oh God, why is it that every time I feel like I've been over the worst and I'm just about ready to move on with my life, something always happens to pull me right back down to the bottom of the spiral staircase? Everything reminds me of her. I just can't stand hearing love songs on the radio or whatever, I just can't stand people talking about how great their sex/love life is, I just can't stand watching couples snog each other in the middle of the street; all of these things causes a great ache and pain in my heart. My heart literally aches. Women as a whole are really starting to piss me off. Why don't they just go and fuck off? You either get "hot" women who prance about thinking that they're all that and how incredibly lucky you are to even be in their presence, or you get the ugly bitches whose tongues hang out for you all over the floor. Heh, even though it made me feel like shit to go and meet up with Redhead Anna, I'm seriously glad I didn't. What was I thinking? The woman is so fucking ugly. She'd make dogs bark at each other. It's just as well I took a bottle of whiskey, I think I might have needed to get seriously drunk before I could get down to some serious shit with her. I can't believe I even contemplated it.

I don't see why I should bother to think about her any more. I don't think I should even bother to write about her any more. Why am I writing about her now? Fuck knows. But it needs to be said. In fact, you don't really wanna know how I feel about her now anyway. It ain't anything at all what you'd expect. Maybe I should just cut everything off and go fuck around with someone else. She obviously doesn't wanna be with me anymore and she sure as hell hasn't even got the slightest tinge of respect for me, so may I should just go off and do my own thing. She can go to hell and she can go fuck herself. I have better things to do than be distracted by women who haven't a fucking clue what they want. It's be SO fucking easy to just get into a no-strings thing with someone, if only I could find someone. But hey, that'll come with time. And whatever else, I certainly have no need to drink myself stupid every day over her any more. Why the fuck should I ruin my liver for her? Who the fuck does she think she is?

Truth is, I have no one in this life. The ex before the ex, Bhavna, really and shittily screwed me up so bad that I'm almost burnt for life.

I really don't think I can go on. Living life like this, with too many bitches breaking your heart every time you place a little faith in them, it's too painful. I just hate feeling this rotten. Why do I have to feel like this anyway? What have I ever done to anyone except give them the best I can? What did I ever do to Anna except love her with all of my mind, heart and soul? Maybe that's the problem? I love them TOO much? Suffocate them? Bollocks! I swaer she's found someone else, I'm sure of it. I've thought long and hard about it, and I can only thnk of two reasons why she's done this; either someone has been putting ideas in her head while I've been away, or she's found someone else (in US of fucking A of course) and prefers them. How convenient. Bhavna did the same thing. How could I be such a fucking fool to fall for that AGAIN? What kind of dumbass am I?

The first couple of weeks after I read it, I was really concerned for her and wondering what the hell the problem could be, trying to beu nderstanding and sympathetic and all. Even she agreed in an email that we needed to talk and even fixed up a time, some Wednesday or other. And she never even turned up, and she hasn't been replying to my mails ever since. Why the fuck is she hiding from me? What the hell have I done to her? And that behaviour is so fucking immature as well, how can anyone torture a guy so much and leave things hanging in the air like that. And all these fucknuts keep on telling me that I need to "move on" or whatever. Move on from WHAT? How can I move on from something that ain't finished properly? I need the fucking closure! And WHY does it have to close anyway, what the hell did I do? I just can't understand...

I just need to see her, I just need to explain to her.. I just need to hear her talk, and whatever it is, I am damn sure that we can resolve it,.. because I do love her, I don't say such words in vain, but I really need to talk to her, and she's not even coming. That really fucking hurts me in my heart of earts. My heart is breaking, and no one can heal it. Drinking is the only way to forget, and when my liver packs it in then there will be nothing else except to wait for death..

I can't talk too much about it now because I haven't got the right form of thoughts in my mind right now. I need to write more about this in the future, as I try to get it all out of me, since no one with human ears has the capacity to sit and listen to me except this lame electronic bloody blog..

I'm not sure how long I can go on. Every day and night that passes without her, I feel more and more dead. I actually feel half-dead in my heart. How long can I go on? I don't feel that I have a future. It feels like the end is coming. I can never be truly happy unless I'm with her. The thing that really pisses me off most of all is how I will never meet her. I will never get the chance to look into her eyes. I will never get the chance to see her smile. She had such a cute laugh and giggle, which I will never hear. I will never get the cance to watch her while she sleeps and wonder what she's dreaming about. I'd never get the chance to hold her in my arms, I wanted that so fucking much, I really just wanted to hold her in my arms and tell her I love her. I'll never to get to kiss her.. why do I have to go through this? Fuck all of that, I'll never even get to SEE her, and that hurts and breaks my heart the most of all..Fuck, I can't stand this pain, I need to drink, to forget, but I won't forget. I won't ever forget...I will suffer this pain until the day I die.

One of the lines in that movie reminded me of Anna though. Serpico's girl wanted to leave him and left him a note to come meet her in some local cafe for a final talk. When he got there, he was like "What is this? This is the stupidest thing I ever read." And that reminded me so much of Anna's break-up email. When I first read it, I felt a surge of feelings and not all of them were good. Aside from the shock and anguish of it all, and as well as the sympathy, I actually thought it was a very stupid letter. For a start, she tried so hard to sound like she had made the right choice. I felt and still fell that she was deluding herself. Even the language that she employed sounded like she was trying to convince herself that her decision was the right one, more than trying to convince me. I talked to that girl almost every night for nearly a year for several hours, and I study psychology - I think I have an insight into what makes that girl tick. But anyhow, it was the "stupidest thing I've read". And I feel that I must thank Serpico for that.

I have "Warm Tape" on repeat for the last couple of days or so, and I'm beginning to feel as if I should have sung it to HER. I really feel as if I embody those lyrics. The tune is pretty convincing and yet haunting too. Why is it that this fucking shit happens to me EVERY time? but the very moment I actually start to believe that someone among them can be a ittle different; warm, honest, loving, trusting and all of that shit, and I actually start beliving in that love shit in that a so as I start to IDEALISE them and hold them as "perfect" in my mind, they somehow fall down and the whole thing goes to shit. I mean sometimes I wonder if the jinx is in me; maybe my association causes other people to become deviants or so form an accepted moral code. But, in any case, just look at the lame horny sluts that I have after me; there's Redhead Anna, there's Miss PAraguay and so many promiscuous fuck swho if I'd sleep with I'd probably pick up some unknown STD. So why should I keep crying over HER and miss HER when I have so many fucking SLUTS to enjoy with? I guess I don't know, except to feal extremely low when I feel rejected more or less; it's the same feeling that as SOON as I start to idealise them and consider them a 100% perfect in my mind and vision, they fucking let me down and let the whole thing down, exposing themselves as weaklings. It really hurts. It still really hurts, even after all this time. Warm Tape.

I was kinda very pissed last night when I related how Anna didn't seem to care enough about me to ask if I was ok after the London bomb attacks 2 weeks ago. Felt very bitter about it and still am.

Who the fuck cares anyway? Anna certainly doesn't. And everyone keeps telling me, she needs her time to think, and blah blah. Like I give a fuck. No one seems to care about me or how I feel. I have reduced myself to whining on the virtual shoulder of an electronic blog, how sad is that? Hey, it helps. At least I can get it all out of me. I can't stand this stupid silent treatment while she has to go "find herself" or whatever. It's like she doesn't even have the slightest bit of respect for me or anything. I feel so insulted. Who in their right minds cannot even find it within themselves to even inquire if some people are alright after a major terrorist attack on their country? I had so many old mates crawling out of the woodwork, but the ONE person I really needed has not even been there for me since I got back from Sri Lanka. That sucks serious ass. I've told a few people how I'm starting to get increasingly pissed about it. Something that puzzles me is the relationship cycle. It is supposed to broadly split into four parts; denial, anger, grief, acceptance. I don't even know which stage I'm at, I seem to be fluctuating continuously between the first three and am inching towards the fourth, and then it's back to Square One. I tell you what, though, I fucking HATE it when people automatically assume that it's ALWAYS the guy's fault when a relationship breaks up. Monte told me as much, and I suspect Verum does too, which is why he seems to be ignoring me. Some mate he is. I thought he was a real mate, but seems that even he's abandoned me too. How nice.

When I was with Anna, it was the most magical thing ever. I couldn't believe it. I coold feel the gentleness of it all. It wa so joyful, just being with her. At least I got a chance to experience some of that. Maybe I was not destined for it, and thus it slipped through my fingers. Let me die alone. Just leave me to die alone. Let them find my body six months after I have died, why should I give a fuck? No one cares.

I try pouring my heart out to Laura. Sometimes she pisses me off with the little comments that she makes, as if I have done something. But she cannot be blamed, because these girls are all on the same side, believing that all guys are bad and they need to protect each other. But what did I do? But anyway, I can only talk to Laura, and even then when only SHE is available, because she knows Anna so she'll know something. But it's just like I told her tonight, I dunno how I feel. Sometimes I just love her, as she is my beloved beloved darling, and other times I hate her and wish she could just go fuck herself for treating me like this, so cruelly and so painfully. How can she do this to me knowingly? It is cruelty. Fuck man, if only she would talk to me..

It's all her fucking fault; there's no proper closure. She just basically ran away. I must have been talking seriously stupid the other night, when the fuck have I ever contemplated cutting myself? That's fucking mental.

Gee, doesn't Sanjay sound like an "irresistable" and "complete studmuffin" ? lol

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Sanjay Dadlani's Serious Drinking Problems

Sanjay Kishore Dadlani:
Middlesex University Student Residing In The UK

DIRECT FROM SANJAY'S FORMER KILLUMINATI BLOG: DUPLICATED VERBATIM (vowels in the cuss/swearing words have been replaced with "*'s" by me):

It scares me, because I was able to get over it with drink before, but now it seems that the alcohol does not work. So that scares me. If alcohol doesn't work this time, I gotta cut myself?

F*ck, I shocked myself. I used to take bottles of vodka into college and drink it in the computer room as I surfed endlessly. I'm still f*cking surprised as to how no one ever smelt it on me? So now alcohol ain't gonnabe enough to deal with this sh*t? I need to progress to self-harm? What the f*cking F*CK?!?! I'm losing touch with reality. Someone needs to save me. Who? No idea. Who? Someone, who? Mr. Motherf*cker, I pray to be able to survive.

I have absolutely no idea what I wrote last night, as I was seriously blind drunk. That may or may not be a good thing, but the fact that I lost my blog somehow without posting it, and then to try and pen another one when even drunker was a bad idea...F*ck this drunken sh*t... Actually no.. I LOVE mixin drinks... Makes you more drunk than you have a right to be.. ;) In any case, four glasses of whiskey coupled with two bottles of Stella shoud sort you out .. ;)

I lost my bus pass and the money which was in it to buy my ticket for the Motorhead gig. :( So I got as drunk as f*ck, haha.

The woman is so f*cking ugly. She'd make dogs bark at each other. It's just as well I took a bottle of whiskey, I think I might have needed to get seriously drunk before I could get down to some serious sh*t with her.

By this time I was gasping for a drink. I bought a can of shandy. Lame I know, but it was the first thing I saw. One the way home I stopped off at a pub for a pint of Guinness. Just as I was ordering, some rock/gothic chick in a miniskirt and boots walked in and turned out she was the barmaid there. Gave me something cool to look at while I was supping.

Anyway, what's the point of crying about it now? I cry every night as it is, into my glass of whisky. I drink myself half-stupid every night since I got back and read that f*cking 'Dear John' email. I f*cking hate whisky, but that was the only alcoholic thing they drank in Sri Lanka and I developed a taste for it, so there. Beer will only give you a big belly anyway, liquor is where it's at. The hard stuff. Absinthe? Never tried it. Want to? I'd love some. Even though I'll have to f*cking figure out where to get it from and all.

I really shouldn't blog when I'm pissed; the alcohol makes me incoherent and a bad typist and the text becomes incomprehensible. I guess what I was trying to convey was how it always works out like sh*t.

Maybe I should talk about my deepest feelings when I'm pissed drunk, but when am I NOT drunk? I been crying and drinking every night since I got back from SL. And why? F*ck knows, man. I care for this b*tch, I love her more than anything, and she doesn't even realise..And they say the "real person" come sout when drunk, but I dunno how true that is.

So we were gonna meet up at her place while her boyfriend was away for a week. Ain't that smooth? I took a bottle of whisky coz I thought it'd be fun to have a drink as well as put us in the mood and all that. Throwing away your inhibitions and all that sh*t. And frankly, because she's not that much of a looker, I figure I'd need it. Harsh I agree, but hey, that's just the way it goes.

So the other night when I got so drunk that I ended up vomiting in the kitchen sink, after that I kind of realised how I had managed to vomit my pain out. My grief has considerably lessened since then, even though it is still very much there.

Sanjay, get some help: Alcoholics Anonymous.

What Kishore Dadlani Really Thinks Of Women

I guess I can just envision myself hooking up with some cute little b*tch and then messing up her head in the worst way possible, leaving her all f*cked-up and broken-hearted. That's almost satanic and is something that I could normally never do, but these days I just don't seem to care.

F*cking b*tches, they owe me something. And every day that passes ain't helping their f*cking case. Oh boy, am I getting madder and madder by the day. Oh boy, am I gonna burn them alive or what? They all f*cking try this sh*t with me. As if I'sm some kinda lame dog or something that'll let it go. Ooh, hell no! I am NOT gonna be letting this sh*t go, especially from f*cking nervous cowards who ain't even got the guts to come and face me.

F*cking women, I decided today that I think all "hot" women f*cking can go f*ck themselves. F*cking snotty b*tches, f*cking little teasers, they can go die. Little b*tches, brought up as sluts. f*cking sh*tty females, my ass. They can go die.

F*cking women, they're all on the same side. No wonder they think differently, they're a totally different species! They reckon all guys are bad and so they must all get in a closed-off group and protect each other. F*cking bollocks. Of course it's ALWAYS the guy's fault, even when they guy hasn't done anything at all except give away their soul. Well f*ck that.

Women as a whole are really starting to piss me off. Why don't they just go and f*ck off? You either get "hot" women who prance about thinking that they're all that and how incredibly lucky you are to even be in their presence, or you get the ugly b*tches whose tongues hang out for you all over the floor.

She can go to hell and she can go f*ck herself. I have better things to do than be distracted by women who haven't a f*cking clue what they want. It's be SO f*cking easy to just get into a no-strings thing with someone, if only I could find someone. But hey, that'll come with time.

Usually I treat girls like the f*cking sluts that they ARE.

But, in any case, just look at the lame horny sluts that I have after me; there's Redhead Anna, there's Miss PAraguay and so many promiscuous f*ck swho if I'd sleep with I'd probably pick up some unknown STD. So why should I keep crying over HER and miss HER when I have so many f*cking SLUTS to enjoy with?

And to top it all off, Sanjay's StreetBitches Blog
This is the guy Anti-Sai Activists praise, promote and defend. Speaks volumes about those opposing Sathya Sai Baba :-)

Proof Sanjay Dadlani Is Mentally Disturbed

Sanjay Kishore Dadlani:
Middlesex University Student Residing In The UK

DIRECT FROM SANJAY'S FORMER KILLUMINATI BLOG: DUPLICATED VERBATIM:

My God, I think I'm too far gone anyways. Even if something happens, the pain is permanent. The wound is way to deep. Because if something was done EARLIER, THEN IT MIGHT HAVE FUCKING HELPED, YOU FUCKING LOSER! But since NOTHING was done,. the wound is deep and the salt has been rubbed in and I feel that fucking endless pain all day and night, boy!

This crap needs to be resolved. Fucking bitches, they owe me something. And every day that passes ain't helping their fucking case. Oh boy, am I getting madder and madder by the day. Oh boy, am I gonna burn them alive or what? They all fucking try this shit with me. As if I'sm some kinda lame dog or something that'll let it go. Ooh, hell no! I am NOT gonna be letting this shit go, especially from fucking nervous cowards who ain't even got the guts to come and face me.

I hear the guitars and it feels like a blade of steel cutting through my soul and my flesh, and it's so plesurable. I wonder how thos people feel, those people who take a razor blade to themselves and cut their flesh. I wonder how it feels. I think I want to try that, if only as a release to this intense pain that I feel.

Fuck, I shocked myself. I used to take bottles of vodka into college and drink it in the computer room as I surfed endlessly. I'm still fucking surprised as to how no one ever smelt it on me? So now alcohol ain't gonnabe enough to deal with this shit? I need to progress to self-harm? What the fucking FUCK?!?! I'm losing touch with reality. Someone needs to save me. Who? No idea. Who? Someone, who? Mr. Motherfucker, I pray to be able to survive.

I wanted to talk about how worried I am about depression. Prolonged depression can kill according to the latest scientific studies. It has a stressful effect on the heart and can probably be an indirect cause of heart disease, as I read on BBC health some time ago. So um, I've been feeling like this for around 3 months now and this has GOT to stop or I'll end up freaking out on the street or something.

It's almost like my entire soul seems to be filled with poison. I don't know how else to describe it. I either feel just very vacant or empty, and at other times I just feel consumed by bitterness, anger and hatred. Consumed by poison.

It's like when I close my eyes, I can actually feel the loneliness surrounding me, choking and suffocating me. Or at least my senses seem to sink within myself and become dull. A pessimistic attitude tints my vision and I cannot seem to understand other people's emotions except mine. Yes, I may laugh at comedies but usually only at the sarcastic jokes, which seem to be an extension of the frustration and bitterness in my soul. It's like I am just aimless these days, going along no particular direction.

It is something that I had perhaps get used to. It's probably likely that I will end up a bitter twisted old man and I should look forward to that and embrace it. It's looking unreasonable to expect anything else.

It is thus no wonder that I am wallowing in disillusion these days. It is no wonder that I have accepted the possibility that I will transform into a sad, lonely, bitter twisted old man. It is no wonder that I have started to feel full of rage, hate and anger. It is no wonder that I have started to seriously contemplate on and accept the possibility of the darker forces in life. It is no wonder that I have started to set my sights on the lower and fringe sections of society. It is no wonder that I read 'The Satanic Bible' by Anton Szandor LaVey. It is no wonder that I have started to lose my motivation and risk the future of several important life-projects that I am currently undertaking. It is no wonder that, to appease my tortured soul, I listen to metal. Not just any metal, mind you, Motorhead and a little Metallica is the stuff that oils my wheels these days. Regarding my taking a turn for all of this negativity, what else is there?

I feel that these events are markers in my descent towards oblivion and self-destruction. At this point I see no hope for me at all. If there is even a slight redemptive opportunity, I do not know.

I've been feeling like shit all week. But today was the day that I really felt like DEATH all day. I was feeling seriously miserable and fucking down. It's almost like I have no hope left for me in life. I'm constantly thinking about what's gonna happen to me in the future. I haven't really got long, so I'm just wondering how to make the best of what I have. I put on a show of smiles for everyon, whilst inside my heart is breaking into tiny little pieces and no one can see my pain. Nobody bothers to ask, nobody bothers to even ask what's the mater, because they do not know. Nobody seems to even care.

I have no love in my life. I feel like death won't make much of a difference. I feel like I'm half dead all of the time anyway.

In any case, today I felt the darkness. A palpabale feeling of evil and darkness totally covering me. I'm scared that I'm becoming unstable and psychotic. Who knows? This can only be due to the stress and shit I been going through lately. I didn't feel like this before, so go figure? I'm starting to avoid looking into people's faces, how disturbing is that? As far as possible I'm avoiding looking into people's faces, even friends and family. How fucking WEIRD is that? It's shitty. I desperately need help here. For fuck's sake, I think I am too far gone.

Some days I feel really angry, vengeful and hateful. I gotta admit that I am becoming the same bitter and twisted person that I was when I met her. So what? Maybe that's my destiny. I have turned to this line of anger and hatefulness relatively recently. And i can't even talk to anyone about how I feel, because nobody cares. Nobody at all.

I'm pissed off about a lot of things lately. Well fuck that, actually I am lonely, period. But anyway it got to me today , the sheer desperation of it all.

Oh God, why is it that every time I feel like I've been over the worst and I'm just about ready to move on with my life, something always happens to pull me right back down to the bottom of the spiral staircase?

But anyway, I'm getting seriously pissed off with a lot of stuff. One thing that I can't understand is something that comes up when I'm reading that bok about Chili Peppers. It mentions that Anthony Kiedis retrns to a theme of loneliness in some of his songs. What the FUCK? Here is the lead singer of perhaps one of the most ROYAL rock bands in the world today - rocking for over 25 years - and he's complaining of being lonely? Fucks sake, the man must have tens of thousands of groupies. Yeah yeah, perhaps he doesn't need all that shallowness and needs proper companionship and all that emo bullshit, blah blah. But still, LONELY? I really love Kiedis, perhaps even in a homoerotic way, but the man has to compare his shit with the standard we all got and prioritise.

How quaintly romantic it would be to purchase a gun and put it into your mouth. Tasting the metal as you run your tongue around the barrel, close your eyes, and blow your brains out. Next stop? That journey is too frightening to contemplate. I should stick to the whisky. I need to get some more bottles of whisky and vodka. I don't have any in the house and I'm climbing up the walls. Waves of misery and grief wash over me as I contemplate the black starry night, the screeching of the owls enter my ears and fills my throbbing heart with pulsating fear. I no longer know myself, as I have swept away by the winds of change, and I know not where I will land.

Overwhelming despair welling up deep in my heart. No recourse to turn to, no one to hold. Tears of sadness flow from my eyes as I weep in the darkness for release. No one hears the bitter sobs as I cry for a saviour to liberate my soul from this gutter. The chains of iniquity lie around my neck and my hands are tied together with the rope of regret while the children outside laugh and play in joyful glee. I close my eyes and feel the waves of misery crash on the rocks of my heart and sway my body to the rhythm of the vulture's call.

When I attribute to them such a high status and later have to suffer rejection at their hands, I don't seem to be able to take it very well. In fact, it kills me and it hurts very much.

Well I spent a lot of time today thinking very deeply of how I may have to spend the rest of my life alone. Some issues arose today that were unsavoury and I realised how it is the same in all the branches of my family. For fucks sake, I come from a huge family so why the fuck do I feel so alone? I felt really miserable today, really miserable. How the hell can this world be full of people who just want to chew you up and then spit you out? Even your fucking family? That's sure surprising, how even your blood can do that to you. Fuck's sake, I'm seriously gonna turn into a bitter twisted old man for the rest of my life.

What's the point of even smiling anymore? Why paint a smile on your face when your heart is crying within? I think that's what most people do. paint their faces with smiles just like clowns do. I sometimes wonder about the dynamics of the 'sad clown' - what exactly does that represent? It's an interesting question to ponder. In any case, it looks like I'm gonna be stuck in this rut and I can't see a way out of it. I am gonna die like this, in this shit, I swear I am. And who knows what's gonna happen? There are no words to express this pain, it can only express itself as a dull glimmer in your yearning eyes. Aching heart and yearning eyes are the two things that everyone is going to take with them to their graves. I just sometimes feel like ending it all, 'nuff said.

Why is it that tears are shed inside and not outside? Pain seems to have a way of feeling etheric enough to spread all over the body, yet concentration on its awareness gives a solidified impression of it. That's emotional pain I'm talking about, not physical. Funny isn't it?

If I find out she's sleeping with someone else, I'll go kill the both of them in just a second. That, and the thought of her being with other guys. Full of rage. Kill them. Both.

As time goes on, you begin to realise the sadness and grief of it all. Sometimes it might take a very big event to get it all into perspective and make you stop and think about where you're going. So the other night when I got so drunk that I ended up vomiting in the kitchen sink, after that I kind of realised how I had managed to vomit my pain out. My grief has considerably lessened since then, even though it is still very much there.

Metal seems to have the special quality of slicing through your flesh and gliding straight into a pain-wracked soul. As such, I do not NEED to cut myself. I just need to listen to some good metal, as the guitars do all the cutting for me that I need. And so I can just open my heart to the steel sword that begs to cut through my flesh and intertwine itself with my nerves, and like a violin let it play the most mournful music anyone has ever heard. While raining hellfire spills forth from my eyes...

Whiny - Neurotic - Silly - Disturbed - Traumatized - Crybaby - Attention Seeker - Pouter - Sniveler - Sulker - Whimpy - Overemotional - Noxious prissy-type - Babbler ... a few descriptions that came to mind :-) Someone hand the guy a pacifier.

Sanjay Dadlani Exposed