Sanjay Dadlani's Serious Drinking Problems

Sanjay Kishore Dadlani:
Middlesex University Student Residing In The UK

DIRECT FROM SANJAY'S FORMER KILLUMINATI BLOG: DUPLICATED VERBATIM (vowels in the cuss/swearing words have been replaced with "*'s" by me):

It scares me, because I was able to get over it with drink before, but now it seems that the alcohol does not work. So that scares me. If alcohol doesn't work this time, I gotta cut myself?

F*ck, I shocked myself. I used to take bottles of vodka into college and drink it in the computer room as I surfed endlessly. I'm still f*cking surprised as to how no one ever smelt it on me? So now alcohol ain't gonnabe enough to deal with this sh*t? I need to progress to self-harm? What the f*cking F*CK?!?! I'm losing touch with reality. Someone needs to save me. Who? No idea. Who? Someone, who? Mr. Motherf*cker, I pray to be able to survive.

I have absolutely no idea what I wrote last night, as I was seriously blind drunk. That may or may not be a good thing, but the fact that I lost my blog somehow without posting it, and then to try and pen another one when even drunker was a bad idea...F*ck this drunken sh*t... Actually no.. I LOVE mixin drinks... Makes you more drunk than you have a right to be.. ;) In any case, four glasses of whiskey coupled with two bottles of Stella shoud sort you out .. ;)

I lost my bus pass and the money which was in it to buy my ticket for the Motorhead gig. :( So I got as drunk as f*ck, haha.

The woman is so f*cking ugly. She'd make dogs bark at each other. It's just as well I took a bottle of whiskey, I think I might have needed to get seriously drunk before I could get down to some serious sh*t with her.

By this time I was gasping for a drink. I bought a can of shandy. Lame I know, but it was the first thing I saw. One the way home I stopped off at a pub for a pint of Guinness. Just as I was ordering, some rock/gothic chick in a miniskirt and boots walked in and turned out she was the barmaid there. Gave me something cool to look at while I was supping.

Anyway, what's the point of crying about it now? I cry every night as it is, into my glass of whisky. I drink myself half-stupid every night since I got back and read that f*cking 'Dear John' email. I f*cking hate whisky, but that was the only alcoholic thing they drank in Sri Lanka and I developed a taste for it, so there. Beer will only give you a big belly anyway, liquor is where it's at. The hard stuff. Absinthe? Never tried it. Want to? I'd love some. Even though I'll have to f*cking figure out where to get it from and all.

I really shouldn't blog when I'm pissed; the alcohol makes me incoherent and a bad typist and the text becomes incomprehensible. I guess what I was trying to convey was how it always works out like sh*t.

Maybe I should talk about my deepest feelings when I'm pissed drunk, but when am I NOT drunk? I been crying and drinking every night since I got back from SL. And why? F*ck knows, man. I care for this b*tch, I love her more than anything, and she doesn't even realise..And they say the "real person" come sout when drunk, but I dunno how true that is.

So we were gonna meet up at her place while her boyfriend was away for a week. Ain't that smooth? I took a bottle of whisky coz I thought it'd be fun to have a drink as well as put us in the mood and all that. Throwing away your inhibitions and all that sh*t. And frankly, because she's not that much of a looker, I figure I'd need it. Harsh I agree, but hey, that's just the way it goes.

So the other night when I got so drunk that I ended up vomiting in the kitchen sink, after that I kind of realised how I had managed to vomit my pain out. My grief has considerably lessened since then, even though it is still very much there.

Sanjay, get some help: Alcoholics Anonymous.

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