Dying But Still Not Dead

Sanjay Kishore Dadlani
Middlesex University Student Residing In The UK

On the SathyaSaiBabaDiscussionClub Sanjay made some very amusing comments claiming that he was "dying". Sanjay misled everyone into thinking he was actually dying. As it turns out, Sanjay claimed the bliss, joy, love and compassion of Chaitanya Mahaprabhu was killing him! lol


Here are some gems:

Reference: Hari I am dying, do you know that?

Reference: Believe me, talking about Chaitanya Mahaprabhu is well worth it! He will give you joy in your heart that makes you want to sing, dance and cry all over the world. Just this past weekend I have been thinkiing about Him nonstop - and that is why my heart has suddenly become very light, which is hardly surprising considering His love and compassion. It's flowing out of my head everywhere. I'm actually dying slowly. Sanjay

Reference: No you misunderstood. I was simply referring to the joy I am feeling as of the past few days. It is "killing" me with it's sweet pain. Mahaprabhu is giving it. He is increasing vipralambha-bhava in me, I think. Regarding death, I also do not care for it. I can die or live, it is Krishna's will. Sanj

Reference: If you want to discuss it, I will be more than willing to. I love to talk about Chaitanya and Nitai. I can talk about Them 24 hours a day, 365 days a year and STILL it is not enough. I have always felt like a Krishna-worshipper (God of Love) long before I knew what it was. That's great, but you must accept Him as He IS, the Supreme Personality of Godhead, above all. Anything less, and the path is diverted. I'll help you out. Ask away.:) are you really "dying" physically, or just in spirit? The joy that I am feeling is "killing" me with it's sweet pain. It is making me feel physically weak a little yes, but I am waiting to see what happens. Maybe Mahaprabhu is calling me. Never mind, I shall go gladly.

SO much love, praise and devotion for Chatianya, Nitai and Lord Krishna! SO much so, Sanjay thinks he is dying! lol

Fast forward a few years and Sanjay is still very much alive. Not only that, his former flowery devotion has become a necrotic and putrid mess, infested with maggots as can be seen by the public exposure of Sanjay's StreetBitches Blog, his Jesus Sex Fetish, his views on Child And Teen Pornography, his self-admitted Psychological Problems, his Disturbing Views About Women, his self-admitted Drinking Problems, his Satanic Inclinations, his Shocking Confessions, his Long And Established History As A Pathological Liar, his outward Denial Of His Own Hare Krishna Guru - Srila Prabhupada, his public Lie About Meeting Aghori Vimalananda, his Homoeroticism And Gender Confusion, his Inability To Keep A Girlfriend, his Pseudo-Devotee Posturing, his He-Man Inspired God Concept, his Lies About Being A Vegetarian, his weird claim that He Was Dying, his amusing Belief That Semen Can Be Sucked Up From The Testicles, Via The Spine, To The Brain and his Suicidal And Self-Injurious Statements.

Sanjay's alleged "dying" from "vipralambha-bhava" (maddening ecstasy caused by separation from God seen in supreme devotees like the Gopis) has now turned to "svadehaghata-bhava" (maddening ecstasy to kill one's self) and self-abusing tendencies. On his former killuminati blog, Sanjay said:

I wonder how thos people feel, those people who take a razor blade to themselves and cut their flesh. I wonder how it feels. I think I want to try that, if only as a release to this intense pain that I feel.

How quaintly romantic it would be to purchase a gun and put it into your mouth. Tasting the metal as you run your tongue around the barrel, close your eyes, and blow your brains out.

So now alcohol ain't gonnabe enough to deal with this shit? I need to progress to self-harm? What the fucking FUCK?!?! I'm losing touch with reality. Someone needs to save me. Who? No idea. Who? Someone, who? Mr. Motherfucker, I pray to be able to survive.

It is no wonder that I have started to feel full of rage, hate and anger. It is no wonder that I have started to seriously contemplate on and accept the possibility of the darker forces in life. It is no wonder that I have started to set my sights on the lower and fringe sections of society. It is no wonder that I read 'The Satanic Bible' by Anton Szandor LaVey. It is no wonder that I have started to lose my motivation and risk the future of several important life-projects that I am currently undertaking. It is no wonder that, to appease my tortured soul, I listen to metal. Not just any metal, mind you, Motorhead and a little Metallica is the stuff that oils my wheels these days. Regarding my taking a turn for all of this negativity, what else is there?

Scary. Very scary.

This is the guy who is the current mouthpiece for the Anti-Sai Movement and whose blog (saibabaexposed.blogspot.com) is promoted and cited by Ex-Devotees and Critics of Sathya Sai Baba.